Put Me Back Together
by Freakishlylovable
Summary: Takes place after Borderline. How will Emily deal with the traumatic events of that day in Mexico? And how does it affect her realtionship with Matt?
1. Nightmares

_Here is the beginning of my story. I know it is really really really short but I'm just getting it started. Review!!!!!!!!_

Emily woke with a start. It was just a dream, she told herself. Things did not end that way. She was replaying the events that took place in Mexico over and over in her head. In her dream she and Matt didn't escape. The machetes did their job. They killed Matt first, and then her. That is when she woke up. But that didn't happen. Her and Matt got out. Matt is okay.

Emily sighed and turned on the light. Then she turned and looked over at the other side of her bed. She had expected to see Matt. She didn't know why, but she did. Instead, all that lay there was the pillow that Matt usually slept on. They almost died days ago, you would expect Matt to be here with Emily to make sure that she was okay. But he wasn't.

Emily had foolishly broken up with him. Why? She did not know. At the time she had just gotten out of the hospital for her injured arm and arrived back home in LA. It was only 34 hours after the border incident. She was physically and emotionally exhausted. Matt drove her home and that is when her emotions boiled over. She broke up with him. She still couldn't figure out why she did that. But she did. She told him that they should go back to being just partners. Matt had a stunned look as she walked away. Emily had expected him to say something, but he didn't. Then when they were back at work two days later, she had expected him to talk some sense into her, but he didn't.

This was where Emily was now, alone in her room, waking up with nightmares, and missing Matt. Mexico scared her. She felt shattered and broken. And with Matt gone, she had no one to put her back together.

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	2. Last Name Basis

_Here is another part. Review!!!!!!!_

Emily walked into the CNU headquarters. She had been up all night with nightmares and thinking about how she messed up things with Matt and her life in general. She always used to doubt herself in a negotiation, but now, the doubt takes more control over her. She is much more fearful of how negotiation will turn out. Matt is Primary almost always now. Emily now prefers to sit in the backseat and analyze the situation. It's a lot less stressful and she gets less of the blame if a negotiation goes wrong. Cheryl's voice zapped Emily back to reality.

"Good morning Emily" Cheryl said.

"Morning Cheryl" Emily said routinely.

"You look tired" Cheryl noted.

"I was up all night doing paperwork" Emily said as she took some papers out of her bag and handed them to Cheryl. It wasn't really a lie, she couldn't sleep so she worked. After that Cheryl said her customary goodbye and went to get some coffee.

Ever since the word got out that Emily and Matt had broken up people acted different around her. The whole team was divided into Matt supporters and Emily supporters. Frank and Duff obviously chose Matt. Cheryl too. But Lia stood by Emily. It was only because they were friends. If they were just colleagues Lia would chose Matt. He had a good argument. Emily just broke up with him for no reason. Of course people were going to side with him. Matt was here longer then Emily, and Matt came out as the good one in the relationship. Not that he made it seem like Emily was the bad one. He played off the breakup like it was no big deal. That no one did anything wrong. It was inevitable. Matt was still nice to Emily, but he didn't try to mend their relationship.

Matt walked into work a little late, as usual. Emily was sitting down at the bullpen, that she and Matt unfortunately still have to share. It is very small, so their knees brush up against each other often. As if working with your ex wasn't hard enough, being in such close quarters was even worse. Matt sat down in his chair.

"Hey Lehman" Matt said casually.

"Flannery" Emily said curtly. They were back on a last name basis. Things were weird between them. Emily doesn't know how they manage to work with one another. But they do. And they still do their jobs well. Now Emily dreaded going to work, for the negotiation part, and the seeing Matt part. They were so good together and she just ended it. If he was hurting at all he didn't show it. Which made it all the worse for Emily.

It was evening now. It was a boring day at the CNU. There were no negotiations. So Emily and Matt were left sitting at their desks doing paperwork in silence. Lia could tell that Emily was hurting and came over her house after work to cheer her up.

"I think you should start dating again" Lia said as they ate take out Chinese food.

"You think?" Emily said dreading the idea.

"Yeah. I mean, you and Matt weren't that, that serious. Right?"

"No, we weren't" Emily said. It pained her to think about how good things could have gotten between her and Matt but didn't.

"Then go out. Have fun. You're free now" Lia said.

"I don't know"

"Come on. Why not?"

"I just don't think that I can do a relationship right now"

"Because?"

"Because I am recovering from Mexico"

"I thought you were talking to a shrink about that"

"I am. And I should focus on getting over what happened, before I dive into something new"

"You're not over what happened?" Lia asked now concerned. Lia and Emily talked about a lot, but Mexico was a subject that Emily managed to avoid.

"Not yet" Emily said in a tone that hinted that she didn't want to talk about this. Lia got the hint.

"Sorry. I just figured since Matt seemed okay. And things are okay at work between you two" Lia said trailing off towards the end. Then a thought occurred to Emily.

"What if Matt is dating again" Emily said trying hard not to picture Matt with someone else. She failed.

"I'm sure he's not" Lia said trying to sound reassuring.

"It makes perfect sense. He is not at all upset about the breakup. He probably moved on. That would explain why he is late for work" Emily said unhappily.

"Matt is always late for work"

"It still doesn't mean that he's not seeing anyone"

"It still doesn't mean he is"

"You know what? If Matt can date again, so can I" Emily said pushing her food away from her.

"I thought you said you weren't ready" Lia said.

"I did. But now that I think about it, I need to do something other than sulk. This is the perfect way to get over Mexico and Matt" Emily said proud of herself.

"You sure?" Lia asked.

"Yeah. I am"


	3. Calvin

_Thanks for the review. Here is another part..._

Emily woke up from yet another nightmare. Her breathing was labored for a second but then she returned to normal. She routinely turned over to the other side of the bed, as always expecting to see Matt. This time, there was a man sprawled on her bed, but instead of Matt's dark hair, this man had blonde hair.

It was not Matt lying next to her. It was Calvin. Emily had stuck true to her word when she told Lia that she would start dating again. And she did. She had been dating Calvin for the past three months. Calvin went to Princeton and Harvard Law School. Now he is a lawyer. Emily met him when he stopped in at the CNU headquarters to get some information for a case he was working on. It started out just like any other lawyer that was visiting. He would ask her questions about the negotiation and she would answer them professionally. But once Calvin got all the information he needed he wandered off the normal route and asked Emily out on a date. She agreed and actually had a pretty good time. Now here they were three months later.

Emily didn't think they would last this long. She didn't think that she would last this long. She really wasn't capable of having a relationship right now. It had been months and she is still dealing with the aftermath of Mexico. She still talked to the therapist weekly. But that didn't seem to help anymore. Her routine was always the same, the dreams were always the same. There was nothing that anyone was able to do to make the nightmares go away. Something was missing in her life. And Emily knew what it was.

Matt.

Calvin is great, but he isn't Matt. Calvin is a by the book, know-it-all. Matt always challenged Emily, and made her break the rules sometimes. Calvin is much more straight laced. Maybe a little too straight laced. But the one thing that made Emily sure that this relationship wasn't right was when she had the nightmares Calvin never noticed. She would wake up breathing heavy and can't get back to sleep, but Calvin would lie there in an ungainly position, sleeping peacefully. Completely oblivious to the emotions that Emily was going through.

Emily knew if she had a nightmare and Matt was lying next to her, he would hold her in his arms and let her know that everything was okay. And the events of Mexico might leave her mind. But Matt wasn't here. And Calvin wasn't Matt.

Emily couldn't even tell Calvin about Mexico. Not that he ever asks about her job. He detests her working in such a dangerous environment. He doesn't believe she can take care of herself. He has spent the past two months trying to convince her to chose a new career path.

Calvin was not Matt. And would never be anything remotely like Matt. Matt was now the standard that Emily held all guys up to, and Calvin doesn't make the cut.

But for some reason she stays in the relationship with him. Partly because she really needs someone to lean on, even if he hasn't the slightest clue about how much turmoil she is really in. But mostly because Matt has a girlfriend.

Her name is Rachel. That is about all Emily knows about her. She has tried to pump Frank and Duff for information, but since they are Matt supporters, she had come out dry. Emily wished she never found out that Rachel existed. When Matt says that he can't go to Sloan's with the rest of the team, Emily knows that it is because he has plans with Rachel.

Emily only found out about Rachel because she was careless in hiding her relationship with Calvin. Coming into work late and a few too many suspicious phone calls and Matt caught on.

The day Matt said he knew about Calvin, was the day he told her about Rachel. She was on a phone call with Calvin (who made it a habit of calling her during work hours to make sure that she didn't get killed on the job) when Matt came up and she slammed her cell phone shut. Matt said...

"You don't have to hide your boyfriend from me. We're broken up remember?"

Emily didn't respond. She hated to hear Matt say that they were broken up. Matt didn't seem to notice her silence, or he didn't care.

"I mean. I get it. You're dating. I've got a girlfriend. So no worries. The past is the past"

Matt saying he had a girlfriend hit Emily like a ton of bricks. She didn't know if he said it because it was bothering him, or he was jealous. Either way, it doesn't matter. He had moved on.

Now Matt was the one having the phone calls during the day. He didn't try to hide them, so Emily didn't try to hide hers. Matt continued to come in late and skip out on Sloan's. And Emily knew why. On the few nights that Matt doesn't have plans with Rachel and can go to Sloan's, Emily will make up fake plans with Calvin just to make Matt jealous.

It was obvious that Emily still had feelings for Matt, but she refuses to do anything about it. She doesn't want to break down and tell him her feelings. He doesn't even know how much Mexico is hurting her. But it didn't hurt him, so he doesn't get to find out how broken she is.

Emily is now staying in a meaningless relationship with a man she loathes more and more each day, just to make Matt jealous. She is acting pathetic.

Emily laid back down. Pulled the comforter over her tightly, and closed her eyes. As she drifted back into dream world, she imagined that Matt was the man laying next to her.

_Review!!!!! Review!!!!!! Review!!!!!!!_


	4. Rachel

_Here is another chapter..._

Emily was fed up with having the nightmares and trying to sleep, so she went into work earlier then usual to catch up on paperwork. She needed a distraction. To think about anything other then Mexico or Matt. Even if that meant spending time, when she should be eating a good breakfast, doing the most boring paperwork that had ever existed. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea because her mind began to wander. Thankfully she had an interruption. Lia walked into the office.

"Morning Emily" Lia said taking a seat next to her friend.

"Morning Lia" Emily said trying to hide the grogginess in her voice.

"You're here early"

"Yeah. Calvin has a big case, and he has to get to work early. So, I figured I would get to work early too" Emily said. It wasn't exactly a lie. Calvin was always working on a big case. He loved to brag about how well his practice was doing, and his high-profile clients. Emily didn't know if he had a big case, because when he went on one of his rants, she zoned out. Whenever he spoke of a case, it was in a proud and pompous tone. Emily was glad that Matt never met Calvin. Because if Matt and Calvin ever had even the shortest of conversations, Emily would never here the end of how arrogant Calvin is. And she was back on the subject of Matt. Emily quickly got back to her conversation with Lia. By time they were done talking the office was already filled with people.

At this time in the morning Cheryl considered it to be the latest to show up for work without actually being late. So everyone in the CNU were hustling to their desks. Emily returned to her paperwork until she heard some laughter. Not the most common thing in the FBI building. She turned around to see Matt standing their with a blonde haired woman. She had curly blonde hair, perfectly manicured nails, and was wearing a outfit that was a little too revealing for someone her age. She was playfully punching Matt and had the most annoying high pitched laugh. That must be Rachel. Rachel was the anti-Emily. It looked like Rachel was about to lean in and kiss Matt, so Emily quickly diverted her eyes. That was the last thing that she needed to see.

Emily tapped her pencil back and forth rapidly. Then she finally stopped. She was using the pencil as a distraction while she is trying to decide if she should listen in on Matt's conversation with Rachel. No, she told herself. The last thing she needed was to become the crazy ex-girlfriend. It didn't matter anyway, all Emily could here was that laughter. Rachel was probably only laughing for a few seconds, but time felt like it was moving much slower. Emily heard the laughter die out and heard Matt's footsteps coming near the desk. Emily quickly put her eyes on her paperwork and pretended to mindlessly sign her name.

"Morning" Matt said as he took a seat.

"Morning" Emily said trying to manage a smile, instead she just looked back down at her paperwork.

"You saw her didn't you?" Matt asked. Emily looked up from her paperwork.

"It's kinda hard to miss her"

"Sorry I didn't want you to..."

"Hey, no worries. The past is the past" Emily said quoting what Matt said to her a few weeks ago when he found out that she was dating Calvin.

"Yeah" Matt said sounding a little off. Emily looked back down and tried to suppress a yawn but couldn't.

"Tired?" Matt asked. This was the most conversation that the two of them have had, that's not about a negotiation, in weeks.

"I didn't sleep much last night" Emily said trying to shake the sound of a ringing in her ears out of her head. Emily figured the exhaustion was getting to her.

"Calvin" Matt said.

"What. Calvin didn't keep me up" Emily said not wanting to talk about Calvin with Matt. She didn't need word about her sex life getting around the office, again.

"No, your phone it's ringing. The ID says Calvin" Matt said pointing to Emily's cell phone. That explains the ringing in her ears, it was the cell phone. Emily quickly answered the phone.

"Hello" Emily said quickly. Matt immediately looked down at his paperwork and started working. Emily could tell her was probably faking.

"Hey Millie" Calvin said. Emily hated it when he called her Millie. It was her least favorite nickname in the world. Emily hoped that Matt couldn't hear Calvin's side of the conversation. He would tell Frank about the Millie comment and Emily will never be Emily again.

"Where were you this morning? You left early" Calvin asked.

"Work" Emily answered curtly.

"Everything okay at work. You're not working with any heavily armed psychopaths right now are you? You know how much I hate your job..." Calvin said getting ready to go into a rant.

"I'm just doing paperwork" Emily said trying to cover the annoyance in her voice. She was not going to let Matt know that she couldn't stand her boyfriend. If Matt breaks up with Rachel, then she'll end it with Calvin. But she is not caving first.

"You left early for paperwork?" Calvin asked. Emily saw Cheryl call out to Matt and he reluctantly followed.

"I figured you have a case" Emily said flipping through papers.

"I do, but you could have told me you had to go to work"

"I'm sorry. I promise I will next time. Hang on a second" Emily said as she saw Matt and Cheryl come up towards her.

"There's a situation in a park a few miles away. Gunshots were heard. They want us to head over there" Matt said as he grabbed his things.

"Calvin, I gotta go" Emily said hanging up the phone before Calvin said his customary "don't get yourself killed" goodbye. If she heard that one more time, she would take his law office hostage. She had never been so thankful for a crisis in her life.

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	5. Shot

_Here's another part!!!!!!_

Emily, Matt, Frank, Duff, and Cheryl all pulled up to the park where they were supposed to standby in case they are needed. Lia was listening in on everything that was going on over the phone.

The SWAT Team was preparing to search the park for the gunman, but they didn't need to. It was quite easy to find him. In a park filled with flower and trees, and everything in shades of green that has to do with nature, he stood out wearing all black. And he noticed the group of police officers and FBI Agents within the vicinity. The park was a big open space, and there were no trees around to hide anyone. So, the gunman could see the enemies easily. Before the SWAT Team could fire or the crisis negotiators could call out to him over the loudspeaker, he started firing his gun. And he hit someone in the process.

* * *

Emily was back in her dream world. She and Matt were in Mexico. The machetes were over their heads. They were just about to be pulled down, when gunshots rang through the shack. Everyone ducked for cover and dust was floating around everywhere. When the dust finally cleared Emily saw blood and saw who was shot.

Emily quickly opened her eyes but then closed them again since she saw a bright light. She tried to shield her eyes with her hand but found that she couldn't move her left arm. So she tried her right arm, she was able to pull covers over her eyes. Her breathing was heavy and her brain didn't seem to be processing everything. She felt someone touching her hand and heard a voice.

"Emily, Emily, Em"

It was Matt's voice. Emily told herself that she was still dreaming. It was a dream where you know you are dreaming. Then she heard footsteps and the lights in the room went off. Then the footsteps were coming closer to her again. Emily finally found the strength to open her eyes and saw Matt sitting next to her stroking her hair.

Emily realized that the footsteps she heard were Matt shutting off the lights in the room so she could open her eyes.

"Matt, what..." before Emily could finish she realized that she was not in her bedroom. Like she always is when she hopes to see Matt after a nightmare. She was in a hospital room. It was hard to see with the lights off, but it was a hospital room. She felt IV in her arm.

"What happened?" Emily finally asked after she took in her surroundings. Matt was silent for a moment, then he finally spoke.

"You were shot" he said now rubbing her hand. His voice seemed almost shaky. Emily saw her dream flash through her mind again. The person who was shot in her dream was her. Next Emily remembered what happened. They were at the park and the gunman started firing. She felt agonizing pain in her shoulder and the next thing she remembered was dreaming about Mexico again. Emily craned her neck to try and look at her shoulder but a sudden pain rushed through her shoulder and her neck and she abandoned attempts.

She finally looked over at Matt again. He was silent. She wondered why. Then she saw his shirt, it had blood all over it.

"What happened to your shirt?" Emily asked. Matt looked down at his shirt.

"Oh, when we were trying to stop the bleeding, some must have gotten on me" Matt said not taking his hand off Emily's.

"How long was I out?" she asked trying to keep the conversation going. Right now, the person she needed was Matt.

"A few hours" Matt said solemnly. Emily winced as the medicine that was numbing her shoulder had started to where off.

"You okay?" Matt asked.

"Yeah, just, it kinda, hurts" Emily studdered out.

"I bet. They said that you would be okay. You'll be out sometime tomorrow" Matt said solemnly. Then it hit Emily. She was shot. She almost died, again. She had a helpless feeling flood into her. It must have shown in her breathing, because Matt noticed.

"Em, are you okay?" he asked concerned.

"Yeah, no, it's nothing" Emily said trying to regain control over her emotions. Someone had tried to kill her again. Matt was there right next to her when the shooting happened. He could have been shot. He could have been killed. Just like he could have been killed in Mexico. Emily couldn't control her emotions anymore. She started crying. In front of Matt. Something she swore that she'd never do again.

"Em, what is it?" Matt said now wiping the tears from her eyes.

"It's too much"

"What just happened was rough"

"No that and Mexico. It's too much" Emily cried.

"Mexico?" Matt said confused.

"Forget it" Emily said trying to pull herself away. What is wrong with her? She was just about to let Matt know how she felt and now she's pulling away.

"I said forget it" Emily said pushing herself to the other side of the bed. Matt backed off. She wasn't trying to push Matt away, but she did. Just like the night that she broke up with him, she didn't want to push him away, it was just instinct.

_Don't hate me for this. You'll know why I'm doing it later. Review!!!!!_


	6. Cell Phone Mixup

_Here is another chapter. It is not my best because I had to write it very quickly. I am heading out of state tomorrow and if I don't get all my work done at once, I never touch it again. And I wouldn't wanna leave anyone hanging. So here it is..._

"Wasn't that the best movie?" Calvin asked.

"It was something" Emily said sitting down on the couch in her condo. The truth was, that was the most boring movie she had ever seen in her life. What self-respecting man would take his girlfriend to see that movie. Emily decided to break up with him tonight. She didn't care about staying in a relationship longer than Matt anymore. She was going to go insane if she had to spend another day with the most arrogant, annoying human being that she had ever met in her life. She finally got Calvin off the topic of that horrible excuse for a movie.

"So, I think we need to talk. About our relationship and stuff" Emily said trying to decide whether to be harsh or nice.

"Yes. I think we do. If we're gonna stay together, you're gonna have to do some changing" Calvin said in his normal pompous way.

"Me! Are you kidding me?" Emily was appalled. How is she the problem?

"Unfortunately, no" Calvin said in a consoling tone. Consoling was the last thing Emily needed. She was half offended, half amused.

"What's wrong with me?" Emily asked.

"Not you. Your job. You got shot. It is way too dangerous for someone with a brilliant mind like yours. Get a new job and we'll be fine" Calvin said as if that was a easy thing to ask someone. Emily could not believe that anyone could be this self-centered.

"A- You're asking me to give up my career and that's not gonna happen. B- I would not give up career for any guy. Especially an arrogant jackass like you. C- I was gonna break up with you anyways. And D- Get out!" Emily said a little louder then she intended while holding open the door for him to leave. He looked slightly shocked, but left without a word. The first time that Emily can remember him not talking. Emily was glad she finally broke up with him. No one tries to control Emily Lehman's life and gets away with it.

Emily was lying in bed. Tomorrow will be the first day that she's back at work since getting shot. It had been a while so she was nervous. Mostly to see Matt. She hadn't seen much of him since her freak out in the hospital room. He stopped by once or twice after that and called a few times to see how she felt. But those visits and calls were awkward. Emily knew that he was wondering what she meant about Mexico and was probably worried that she would have another break down again if he got too close to the subject. So, she was wondering how she would be able to work with him all day.

Emily decided that she should get some sleep or she would be late for her first day back. But as she drifted off to sleep Calvin's words "You got shot" echoed over and over in her head. It brought on a wave of nightmares.

* * *

As Emily walked into the CNU headquarters everyone was giving her hellos and asking her how she was feeling. It took her a while to finally reach her desk, and there sat Matt. He actually had a smile on his face and looked happy to see her.

"Hey. How are you feeling?" Matt asked.

"A lot better" Emily said. Her nightmares weren't gone. And she did have a bad day a few days ago. But she felt much better now that she didn't have to deal with Calvin.

"That's good. Glad to be back?" Matt asked.

"Yeah. I just want things to get back to normal again. They're finally starting to" Emily said sitting down.

"Yeah. I meant to stop by and see you more" Matt confessed.

"That's okay. You didn't have to. You stayed that one night, that was just fine" Emily said thinking that might still might be cautious around her because of her meltdown.

"I figured that you would be spending a lot of time with that Calvin guy" Matt said. It seemed like he practiced slipping that into the conversation.

"Not anymore" Emily accidentally said. She didn't mean to say that, it just slipped out. Would he figure out that they broke up?

"Not anymore? Did you two breakup?" Matt asked a little too eagerly.

"Oh, um, uh, yeah" Emily said. Why did she say that? She could've lied. No, Matt can tell when she lies. Great, now he knows.

"If it makes you feel any better, me and Rachel broke up too" Matt as the two of them flipped through some papers. Emily stopped focusing on her papers and looked at Matt.

"You did?" she asked, now the one sounding eager.

"Yeah. She was a little too bubbly for my taste. She laughed like a hyena. It drove me crazy"

That news made Emily happy. But she tried not to show. She's not sure if she succeeded. Emily was having a good conversation with Matt, so she figured that he better slip what has been bothering her.

"Matt, about that day in the hospital. You kinda caught me in a weak moment. Plus, I was drugged out of my mind with pain medication. So, can you just forget whatever I said?" Emily said trying to get the hard part out of the way.

"It was completely understandable. And it's forgotten. The past is the past" Matt said.

"Thanks" Emily said with a smile.

Towards the end of the day Frank and Duff came by and made sure that Emily was okay. Since Cheryl was out of the office for a meeting, the two troublemakers proceeded to toss and small football across the room. They managed to throw it at Matt and Emily's desks and scattered their papers, cell phones, and just about everything else on their desks across the floor. As Matt and Emily were on the floor picking up their stuff, their hands touched and Emily's heart lept. She felt like a giddy school girl when that happened. But that feeling was cut off by Frank yelling...

"Cheryl alert!" and he and Duff ran to their desks and put away the football. Cheryl walked towards Emily and Matt who were still picking up their stuff.

"Emily welcome back. Why don't you come to my office. We can catch up" Cheryl said looking disapproving at the two FBI Agents crawling on the floor.

"I'll take care of it" Matt said pointing to the mess. Emily got up and started talking to Cheryl.

"So, the FBI psychologist cleared you to work. I just wanted to check to see that you would be okay being Primary. I don't want to put you there if you're not ready" Cheryl said once they made it into her office.

"Oh uh" Emily didn't know what to say. She was so worried about how things would be with Matt she hadn't put any thought into how much work she could handle.

"I take it there is still a problem" Cheryl said.

"A little"

"A little?"

"I had a bad day a few days ago and left the psychologist a message, but she didn't call back yet. She's pretty busy. But I don't think I need to talk it out anymore. I've got my bad days and my good days" Emily said.

"And today is?"

"Today is a good day" Emily said smiling.

"So?"

"So, we'll play it by ear"

Emily walked out of Cheryl's office and was ready to go home. She stopped by her desk and Matt handed her bag to her. She said goodbye to everyone and went home. It was a good day.

* * *

Emily got home and put her stuff away, changed into more comfortable clothes, and then she went to her kitchen table where she laid her cell phone and checked for messages from anyone. She dialed voice mail and then heard the messages from Frank, Duff, and Rachel. She realized that it wasn't her phone. It was Matt's. She and Matt must have switched phones when they were cleaning up the mess Frank and Duff made. Emily felt bad about it, but she listened to Matt's phone messages. Frank and Duff left a short message about heading out to Sloan's. Rachel said she left some clothes at Matt's place. That made Emily feel loads better. She was zapped back to reality as when she heard a knock on her door. She quickly put the cell phone down and went to answer the door. To her surprise Matt was standing in her doorway. And before she could say anything, he kissed her. 


	7. What?

_Hey readers. I am so sorry that it has been so long since I've last posted. My computer decided that now was a fun time to not let me on the interenet, and then I had to deal with my own illnesses and then family illnesses, and then I have to study for finals, plus a million other things. But I finally wrote this and got it up. So, as always, tell me what you think. Oh, and remember last chapter that Matt kissed Emily, enjoy._

If there was ever a rock your world kiss, this was it. This kiss made up for the weeks that they've missed out on. When they finally broke free, which was only to catch their breaths, they were both left speechless. It was less speechless, more awkward silence.

"Hey" Emily finally said breathlessly, still in Matt's arms.

"Hey" he said back.

"So, um" Emily didn't know what to say. What she had been wishing for weeks had just happened. She was back in Matt's arms. Now why didn't she know what to do? And Matt still wasn't talking. For two people who talk to troubled people for hours on end, they have the worst communication skills ever. Emily was still in Matt's arms, but knew she had to break the silence.

"Not that, that wasn't great and all. But, um, why did you kiss me" Emily asked. Kiss me was an understatement. It was a full on makeout session.

"Um, it just seemed like an I need to kiss you moment" Matt said. Emily was still confused.

"But why this moment?" she asked feeling Matt's arms around her.

"Uh, because..."

"Any day now" Emily said.

"I know everything about Mexico and the nightmares. It just seemed like a kiss you moment"

Emily instinctively pushed herself away from Matt.

"How do you know about that?" Emily said irascibly.

"Em" Matt said as if he were speaking to a child.

"No Matt. No more games. You're gonna tell me" Emily said angrily.

"We accidently switched phones, and I accidently listened to your messages" Matt confessed.

"You accidently listened to my messages. How can you accidently do that. Do you get messages from Lia? Do you get messages from my parents? No! You should've known it was my phone. How can you accidentally listen to my messages?" Emily shouted completely forgetting the fact that she did the same thing to Matt.

"I was gonna shut it off but it was your shrink, and she said something about missing your call a few days ago when you had a bad day. So, I got worried. And she mentioned Mexico and all that stuff. God that woman can talk"

"So, you know about that" Emily said. She should be relieved that Matt knows, but she's not. She feels weak and inferior.

"Yeah"

"And you kissed me because of that"

"Yeah"

"So, you kissed me 'cause you thought, hell she's vulnerable, now's my chance" Emily said backing away from Matt even more.

"You know it's not like that"

"Then tell me what it's like" Emily who only let him stay in her apartment because she wants an explanation.

"I felt bad" Matt said.

"Felt bad. So, it's a pity kiss" Emily said, now much closer to kicking him out. And the thought crossed her mind to get a new partner too.

"It's not a pity kiss. God Em for once would you let me explain without interrupting!" Matt snapped. This shut Emily up.

"I'm sorry. It's just, I felt bad that I didn't catch on. That I didn't figure out something was wrong the night you dumped me. That I didn't know all the time we were at work together. That I didn't know that day in the hospital" Matt said.

"So, you kissed me to make up for what you did wrong. How is that different from pity kiss?"

"You interrupted again"

"You're going nowhere with this"

"Yeah I am"

"Fine go on with your glorious explanation to cover your tracks of how your just trying to get me into bed or making up for your complete detachment from human emotions" Emily spat, clearly annoyed.

"God Em, newsflash. You broke up with me! I never wanted that. I love you! Why would I break up with you?" Matt half asked, mostly shouted.

"What?"

_I'll have a little more hopefully later. Review, review, review!!!!!!_


	8. I Knew It

_Here is another part. Not sure if it is the last. I saw some errors and revised it. tell me what you think..._

"Did you just say what I thought you said?" Emily asked. She really, really hoped that the answer was yes. Sure she was pissed off at him now, but if he loves her, would that change things? What female doesn't like to hear someone tell you that they love you?

"Um, yeah. I guess I did" Matt said running his hand through his hair sheepishly.

"Okay" Emily said sitting down. A few minutes ago they were kissing, then arguing, now he loves her. There's no way.

"Did you mean it?" Emily asked wondering if he said yes, what should she say. Does she love him? Matt just looked around for a minute. His head darted from his feet, to a chair, to a window, and back to his feet again. He looked like he was looking for anything to distract Emily from what he just said. Finally he looked up at Emily.

"Yeah, I meant it" Matt said.

Great, he meant it. He loves me. What now? Emily pictured this going a lot differently then it was.

"If you love me, why did you go out with Rachel?" Emily asked. She was still running what she should say through her head. Emily knew that she loved Matt, but she couldn't say it. Damn it, why couldn't she say it? What kind of defect did she have that made her not know how to deal with this situation.

"I only dated her to make you jealous, 'cause you dated that Calvin loser" Matt said, zapping Emily back to reality.

"Okay" Emily said slowly. Okay! Okay! That's the best you can come up with! What the hell is wrong with you? Think, Em, think, Emily told herself.

Matt stood there like he was waiting for her to say something else. She didn't.

"I'm going" Matt said obviously fed up with the situation.

"Matt" Emily said getting up from the chair trying to stop him.

"What?" Matt asked. Emily remained silent. It's like her brain just turned off. Like someone was rooting for her to screw up with Matt. And that someone was winning. Matt turned around again, ready to leave, but again he stopped.

"Before I go, I just need to know one thing. Did you break up with me because you were freaked out about almost getting killed, or freaked out about what we almost said?" Matt asked.

"What do you mean?"

"The whole "me too" incident" Matt said. Emily remembered that conversation. The truth, she did mean I love you, but she thought she was going to die. She survived, that changes things. The question is, when she took it back, did she mean that she didn't love him, or was she afraid to love him?

Matt had her. She was stuck. He was forcing her to open up.

"Both. Almost dying scared the hell out of me, and so did the "me too" thing" Emily finally said.

"Because, you meant I love you, or you didn't?" Matt asked.

"I don't wanna talk about this" Emily said turning away.

"Oh so that's how it is. The second your life gets a little too hard you run away" Matt said.

"That's not true" Emily said now turning around.

"Yeah it is. Mexico scared you, so you broke up with me. "Me too" scared you, so you broke up with me. Getting shot scared you, so you pushed me away. My questions are too hard, so you try to run away. You can't control the situation, or your feelings, so you stop it all together" Matt said. Since when was Matt the psychoanalyzing one? Emily didn't know what to say.

"And you know I'm right. Just like I'm right in knowing that you do love me" Matt said confidently.

"How do you know that?" Emily asked.

"Because, a few minutes ago, I said I love you, and you didn't say it back, but you stopped me from walking out that door. The second I asked you if you loved me, you said you didn't wanna talk about it. For whatever reason, you can't tell me how you feel, but you still feel that way. So, why are you fighting it?" Matt asked.

"You know, you're a little to cocky for your own good" Emily said.

"You're avoiding my question. Why can't you say you love me. 'Cause I know that you do" Matt said sitting on the couch that Emily had sat down on during his speech. Emily put her head in her hands. Did he figure out how I feel before I have? Yes, I would say he did.

"It's not that I don't love you, it's that I don't want to love you" Emily finally said looking up at Matt.

"You don't want to love me. What does that mean?" Matt asked.

"I don't know" Emily said now refusing to look at Matt.

"No, you said it, you do know" Matt said turning her head back towards him.

"It means exactly that, I don't want to love you. I love you, but I don't want to" Emily said.

"And why is that?"

"Because, because, one of us will end up getting hurt, and I don't want it to be me. I screwed up in Mexico, and there was my chance to get out before I got hurt" Emily said.

"What makes you so sure that one of us will get hurt?"

"'cause with every other guy, I got hurt" Emily said.

"So, that's every other guy, that's not me"

"And what makes you so sure that you won't be like every other guy?" Emily asked.

"Because, I'm Matt" he said in his normal cocky way.

"Matt, I'm serious"

"Well, I don't know. But neither will you if you don't give it a shot" Matt said. Do I really wanna take a chance at love and hurt myself? Or do I really wanna push him away and hurt myself? As Emily thought this over Matt was waiting expectantly. Finally she pulled him closer and kissed him.

"So, does this mean you love me?" Matt asked in between kisses.

"Yeah. It does. I love you"

"I knew it"

_There might be one more chapter coming_


	9. Safe

_Here is the final chapter to Put Me Back Together. Sorry I never put it up before. Review!!!! And this is it, so thanks for all who reviewed, and I hope you liked the story!!!_

The machete was over Matt again, about to go down, again. But before that could happen, gunfire rang out. Then, the pain in her shoulder. There was blood everywhere. Everything seemed to be that deep dark red. It was all that ominous color that made you know that everything was about to go down hill, or even end all together. Emily saw that color all over herself, the shack she was in, and on Matt, all over Matt's shirt.

Next Emily flashed back to her in the hospital, and the man sitting right next to her, holding her hand, refusing to let it go. Despite the pain in her shoulder she looked over at him, his shirt was covered in blood. He said he was trying to stop Emily's bleeding and that's why his shirt is stained.

Now, she was back in Mexico. Matt leaning over her trying to stop the bleeding, wearing a blood stained shirt, the same one he wore at the hospital. Emily knew that if you get shot, you have to stay conscious. She was trying to open her eyes and stay awake but she couldn't. During her struggle to open her eyes which were getting heavier and heavier, Matt was stroking her arm. Whispering, "Wake up, Em. It's okay. Wake up. I'm here. It's just a dream." The blood stained Matt kept repeating those words.

Emily finally jerked awake, and felt someone stroking her arm. She could feel and hear the real Matt, the Matt who was laying right next to her saying it was just a dream. She, like always turned around to see who would be on the other side of the bed, already knowing this time it wasn't just false hope, Matt was really there.

"Hey." he whispered, kissing her forehead, and then pulling her into a tight embrace.

"It'll be okay." he said. For a few minutes Emily lay curled up against Matt, him holding her in silence. Both awake, just not talking. Just feeling each others' company. Emily was feeling something now that she hadn't felt in a long time, safety. She was safe laying in Matt's arms. And she knew that when she went back to sleep, there would be no nightmares there to greet her. Everything that happened in Mexico was finally over. Matt was here now, it's all okay.

"Hey, Matt." Emily whispered, finally breaking the comfortable silence.

"Yeah?"

"Thanks."

"For what?"

"For putting me back together."


End file.
